Many people have a common misconception that everyone else is managing their roles and responsibilities just fine and that they are the only ones who can’t figure out how to do it.
1. Lose the guilt.
Much has written on how to better organize your time, as if the right calendar/organizer would make it possible for you to fit everything in. In fact, you can’t do it all in the same way you would if you were only doing one or two of your roles.
Here are some things to think about as you work to figure out your juggling act.
1. Prioritize. Before you try to come up with solutions, it is essential that you spend some time reflecting on all that you are doing. It would be useful to have all of these discussions with your partner.
2. Explore options. Take a look at everything you are doing, the number of hours you are working, the other responsibilities you have taken on, the demands of the house and of course,Are there ways to cut back for a year or two? Do you have any other resources available?It is also important to look at various work options. Could you or your partner change your work schedule or the number of hours you work? Would it be possible to do some part of your work from home? Think through many different possible scenarios and try to figure out if any are doable.
3. Share the load. Men’s participation in home and family has increased significantly in the last 20 years. However, statistically, the number of hours employed women spend on parenting and housework still greatly exceed the number of hours that men spend doing the same tasks. This doesn’t necessarily mean that men are unwilling or uninterested. Many women feel ambivalent about sharing the caring. They may feel as if their expertise is being threatened by sharing more equally with their partners. Many women find themselves being critical of the efforts of the other parent in relation to household tasks and parenting. Many partners feel hesitant to pitch-in for fear of being “inadequate.” It is important to look carefully at the division of labor in your family. Is it working optimally for both of you or could it be shifted? How could it be shared more equitably? Are there adjustments both parents need to make in order for it to happen?
4. Combine tasks. Some of your many tasks can be combined. Sometimes the activities will take longer, doing them together, but will be well worth the effort.
5. Enjoy quality time. Remember also, that it is important for you to have some family time where you are focusing simply on self or partner.
6. Simplify.
7. Remember, it's a balancing act. Most parents never find a moment in which they feel perfectly caught up on all the things they expect themselves to do. If you consider this a normal state you can learn to relax about it. Balance isn’t something you necessarily find, it is something you are always moving towards. One week you will get lots of good things done at work and the house will be a wreck. The next week, you will leave work early to spend some extra time catching up and hanging out at home. The following week, you might arrange a time for yourself to exercise, but you have to leave your desk a mess and the dishes undone. Balance doesn’t happen in any one instant, but it can happen in the long run.
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