I am a fairly average snowboarder and last year I was working on my confidence while on the slopes. Getting enough speed, cutting through the snow and getting used to my brand new goggles that my boyfriend had got me for Christmas.
One warm February day we headed up to the mountain, ready to spend a day 'carving it up!' Just like any other day we jumped on the lift and headed up to the top.
It was our first run and we were making our way down the mountain. I was in the 'zone' already. I was completely focused on what I was doing and loving every second of it. I told my boyfriend to go ahead of me because I didn't like him behind me. I could hear him and it was throwing me off. So he went ahead of me and I continued down the mountain.
I still do not remember exactly what happened next. I think I was going too fast when I hit some deep snow which twisted me around. I then hit a slight bump in the ground which lifted me into the air ... I was flying backwards.
My first reaction was to put my wrist behind me to break my fall. When I hit the ground I heard something crack and immediately went into shock.
When I say I don't remember what happened when I fell, well the next part I definitely don't remember. All I know is that my boyfriend saw me walking down the mountain holding my snowboard in one hand and my other hand was close to my chest. When I got to him I collapsed. I was very light-headed. After a few minutes the ski patrol arrived and I explained that I had landed on my wrist when I fell. They wanted to take my glove off but I told them I didn't want to look at it. So I closed my eyes while the ski patrol guy and my boyfriend took my glove off. The second they saw my wrist they exchanged a glance as if to say 'yep, that's broke.' However my boyfriend being a smart man, never gave me a reason to worry. Even though he knew it was bad, he also knew that if I knew it was bad, I'd freak out.
I got to go down the mountain on the 'ski patrol' stretcher which was completely mortifying at the time. After getting an exam at the mountain we were advised to visit the hospital. So we headed that way. We didn't have to wait long before we were in a room. The doctor came in and asked if I wanted a pain-relief injection which I declined. The nurse helped me with my x-rays. And about 30 minutes later came in with the news that 'your wrist is broken.' I cried a little but knew it could be worse.
Little did I know ...
The next day I headed to an orthopedic specialist. I was excited to get a cast!
I had a work trip to Nashville that week and I thought 'everyone can sign my cast!' After a meeting with the doctor and more x-rays, I got the worst news of my life 'you will need surgery!'
I burst into tears. I couldn't look at the x-rays. I wanted nothing more than to go back in time and not have this happen. Here I was doing something I absolutely love and not only was I going to have surgery but I would probably never get back up on a snowboard again. The break had been really bad and I would need plates and screws.
I went ahead with my trip to Nashville. I was in a lot of pain but I made the best of it and thankfully my workmate was very understanding! And yes, lots of people asked me about my wrist!
When I got back I had the surgery. I was very nervous and cried right before I went under. The doctor told my boyfriend I was singing 'I'm a whiskey girl at one point!' Over the next couple of months I lived life with a 'club' as an arm.
After I got my cast off, I moved to a brace. While my wrist was 'healed' I still needed therapy for movement. Thankfully my sister is a physiotherapist and we were able to have 'Skype Therapy!' She was able to help me with movement, rotation and most important, re-building my confidence. It took a long time for me realize my wrist was stronger than before and an even longer time to decide if I wanted to snowboard again.
Almost a year to the day that I broke my wrist, my boyfriend wanted to go away for his birthday. To a ski-resort. I said 'no' immediately. Then I said I would go but I wouldn't snowboard. Then I said I might snowboard. Then I decided to buy wrist guards and a helmet.
But I still wasn't sure if I would snowboard. We meet a few friends up there for the weekend and everyone knew that this was a big deal for me. The day arrived and I woke up nervous. I knew I could back out at any moment if I wanted and thankfully our friends were very supportive. I got dressed in my snowboard clothes which was odd because they were the same clothes I fell in when I broke my wrist.
We meet up with our friends and headed towards the slopes. Buying the wrist guards and a helmet was the best thing I could of done in preparation for my first trip back up the slopes. I'll never snowboard without them. We got out of the car. I put my helmet on and waited as everyone else got ready.
Finally we were ready to go.
I started down the mountain, keenly aware of where my brakes were.
I could feel my anxiety creeping in but once again I remembered where my brakes were.
Those first couple of minutes down the mountain were scary but I kept pushing through knowing that if I got down the mountain just one time that was better than nothing. About half way down the slope I started to cry. Tears of happiness were rolling down my face.
I could control my snowboard better than I ever had before! Once I reached the bottom of the mounatin I could not believe it. The biggest smile on my face, tears on my cheeks and a huge sense of accomplishment! We spent the rest of the day enjoying the slopes and I actually had some of my best runs ever.
It was one of the greatest days of my life! I never thought I would get back up on a snowboard, but facing my fear made me remember just how much I love snowboarding. It also taught me that when you get knocked down it might take a long time to get back up, but eventually you will get back up, you just have to believe in yourself. Which reminds me about facing my fear of scuba-diving after a scary night dive - I'll save that for another blog post.
If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space.
